Charity's Blog

Life Lessons


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Mami’s Vaccine Day


It looks like we as a nation may be turning a new corner and hopefully reach the other side. I accompanied my almost 90-year-old mother to get her first Pfizer vaccine this afternoon. I was very impressed with the process from start to finish, but first, I would like to tell you all from the beginning. 

Over a week ago, my sister got her vaccine, and she advised me to sign our mother up to get hers. My sister sends me the link to sign my mother up to get in line, and in almost two weeks. I am contacted, my mother sits by me, and she listens diligently while the representative asks pertinent questions about exposure and travel. She registers us and informs me that I will be receiving an email with my mom’s appointment and an additional link to complete the registration. I did, and all was set. 

Fast forward to today, my mom was a little anxious. She hates needles in general. I kept telling her that I will be with her every step of the way. When the time came, she was brave and looked the other way while the vaccine was being administered. The nurse even said loudly, “all done!”

As part of the protocol after getting the vaccine, they make the recipient wait in the car for 15 minutes to ensure no side effects such as headache and nausea develop. My mom did not experience any of the effects. 

Long story short, both of us had a positive experience, my mom did well, and for myself as her caregiver, the process was expedient. It took about 1 hour and a half, give or take, but it did not seem that long, and we were very happy! I guess we were talking up a storm; the time passed so quickly that we did not notice. 

I am excited that the vaccine will be offered to those 60 years and older. I look forward to it!


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COVID On My Mind


“Someone is sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago.”

~Warren Buffet

In the light of COVID, surrounded by despair and crisis, that is all I can think about is death. What is it going to take for those doubting this pandemic to see the light? 2020 will forever go down in history as the pandemic that challenged all of us to be better, and for those non-believers. We must pray!

It is surreal seeing people in the media being defiant, and downright belligerent. It is sad! Don’t they realize if not for themselves, but for a loved one. It is crucial not to drag this virus into their home and infect someone they love, maybe this is what they need to make the picture come into focus.

I recently lost a close friend to COVID, and my brother tested positive, and thank God he is among those that survived. I also was exposed I got tested and by the grace of God I was negative. My mother who is 89 years of age lives with me, so it is crucial that I stay safe for her sake.

The numbers continue to climb, and they have named the state of Florida an epicenter. I don’t know how this will play out all I know I will continue to do my due diligence to practice safety by wearing my mask and practice social distancing.

Be Safe!


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Crazy Family Emotions


Have you ever been confused, conflicted about your life that you want to scream? My life is involved, I work I have a senior, my mother living with my husband and I. There are days where I feel that I am dancing on a balance beam trying to make sense of it all.

It is the little things that add up to great big ones, like not wiping the counter after use or being mindful, making sure nothing spills over when you are disposing of food in the trash. Having your parent living with you is most challenging!

During this pandemic, I have observed that my mother is not mindful or careful when she does things, and my husband gets frustrated when he sees the counter messy or the floor near the garbage spilled with coffee grounds. Imagine taking your lunch break, and you run into your husband, complaining about your mother. How would you handle that?

By the way, I, too, have noticed some of the same behaviors. One of the issues is that I don’t tell my mother when these incidents happen.

To give a little history of my mother. She is traditional at 88 years of age. She comes from the mindset that she has earned the right to say whatever she pleases and does not care about how others take it. Healthwise, she is mentally sharp, mind like tack, but physically she is hard of hearing and has refused to use hearing aids, her vision not so good. She is so stubborn full of pride, which gets in the way of seeing that the use of hearing aids would much improve her activities of daily living.

I love my mother very much, and there is nothing I would not do for her. It is chaotic the behaviors she exhibits. I want to tell her, “Mami, chill out!” “You live with us, not the other way around!”


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The Moms in my Life


It is Mother’s Day on Sunday, May 10, 2020. I want to honor the moms in my life that I love with all of my heart.

First and foremost, to my Mami, although we have our challenges, we continue to battle it through with our hearts in motion. I accept the good with the bad no matter what! It took us a bit to reach this point, and I am blessed to have you in my life!

To my sweet, Ma, my mother-in-law, you are a loving person, and I adore you and living with Alzheimer’s, it is difficult. I am so glad that during this pandemic, Ma is in a state of lucidity. We were so worried that this situation was going to further her condition.

My loving aunt, what can I say! I love your wisdom, your heart, and your creativity. You are the bomb! I look forward to us scrapbooking together the next time you come to visit.

To my independent, courageous, and beautiful daughter, I always say to myself, when I grow up, I want to be just like you. I use to say you had an old soul. You raised my granddaughter, and she is an amazing kid, almost a high school graduate of 2020! We are so proud!

To my sister, we have grown and so glad we did. I can not imagine my life without you. You are funny, especially when you talk about your parakeets who are very active, wink! wink! They have produced a multitude of eggs that hatched recently. I always tease her about separating those birds!

My cousin, in a short time, I have gotten to know you more, you are a dedicated mom of two, and you don’t play! I love your spirit; you are fearless and committed to family.

I wish you all a most blessed Mother’s Day!


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Coronavirus: A Visit to Ma’s


“The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.”

~Dolly Parton

How many of you have a family member in a nursing home or an assisted living facility? It can be frustrating, and heart-wrenching. It is our new normal! I have not seen my mother-in-law since the beginning of this pandemic. She has Alzheimer’s and I am worried about this crisis furthering her condition. My fear is when this is over she will not know us.

Ma lives in memory care, her condition is at the beginning stages, she still knows us and she is well-loved by the staff and the residents. 

Fast forward to today. My husband and I decided to pay a visit and we are well aware that we can not visit due to the pandemic. I realize it is for the safety of the residents as well as ours, but I miss her deeply!

Upon arrival, at the entrance,  we saw a sign that read, “Heroes Work Here!,” it struck my heart and the reality of it all was extremely real! 

We drove toward the back of the parking lot by the outer glass door by the activity room and as we looked inside, there was Ma and she immediately spotted us. One of the nurse’s aides assisted her and the happiness on my mother-in-law’s face was well worth it.

We visited for 15 minutes but it is a memory that will stay with me for as long as I live!


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Life is a Roller Coaster Ride!


Life is a roller coaster ride! If anyone were to tell me that Ma would be in a nursing facility six months ago undergoing rehabilitation. I would not have believed them. She was living independently with mild Alzheimer’s, functional, and in a senior community.

Fast Forward to the Present

Ma has transferred from the hospital to the rehabilitation-nursing facility. The doctor, in her care, informed us that her Alzheimer’s has progressed. How is this possible? A close friend tried to enlighten me by saying, ” Ma is not bedridden, not in diapers and not being spoon-fed.” I refuse to accept that! I feel that she has spiraled towards the severe versus moderate since Hurricane Irma.

To top it off, she fell again, as she attempted to get off the bed in the rehabilitation facility. Staff found her on the floor in a sitting position, conscious in the early morning hours. Her bed is a hospital bed with an alarm due to not being able to remember to press the ‘Call for the Nurse’ button. She is in the facility undergoing physical and occupational therapy.

Reality check!

Ma cannot come home and will require more supervisory care. I continue to pray for strength. The one thing that I learned from all of this is to live life every day, as it was my last.  

Alzheimer’s Quote


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My New Normal


Quote: What You Do For Someone You Love

You never know where you are going to end up. My situation as a caregiver is my new normal, and my heart aches for my mom-in-law. She suffers from Alzheimer’s diagnosed over ten years ago, but since Hurricane Irma, her condition has spiraled to worse to horrible.

Yesterday morning, I was awakened by my mom telling me that my mother-in-law had fallen in her room. Ma is what I call her, was confused and not knowing how she came to be on the floor. The room had this awful stench. According to my mom, she believes that Ma got confused as to where the bathroom was and proceeded to do her business in her room causing her to fall forward bumping her head. She had a huge bump on her forehead, it was ginormous!

I immediately called 911, the dispatcher recorded the incident and diagnoses. He instructed me to leave the front house light on, the door unlocked and more importantly, for me not to move her.

All the while, as he was giving me instruction, I thought about this horrific disease and all that comes with it.  The person inflicted with it is not aware of what is happening and the caregiver witnessing it will carry these tragic memories. It is not fair!

I dread how this story ends. I pray for the strength to carry me on this journey with my Ma. These days I try to focus on Ma, the way she is and her essence. I believe that it will allow me to move forward no matter what obstacle is laid on the path before us.

Alzheimers.net


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Moments of Confusion


Have you ever walked along a shoreline, only to have your footprints washed away? That’s what Alzheimer’s is like. The waves erase the marks we leave behind, all the sand castles. Some days are better than others.

-Pat Summitt

This disease sucks to no end! When you witness your loved one going through what I call moments of confusion.

When she finds herself lost in a space that is her home, not knowing whether to turn right or left to find her bedroom.

It is sad, you want to save her, make her better but you can’t instead, you can only guide her and stand by her.

She lives between moments of confusion and lucidity. I live it with her every day alongside her as her caregiver.

I am her family, I love her and I support her.

Brainy Quotes


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​Moments of Lucidity


Alzheimer’s disease is devastating and horrific, it may come with moments of lucidity but when it is witnessed by family members, it is a memory to remember fondly and wholeheartedly.

The moment of lucidity happened last night. I got a visit from my Ma, the person I remember as being Ma! It was late I was having trouble with sleep, and all of sudden through the crack of my door, I noticed all the lights in our house were turned on. It stemmed from the hallway, entranceway, living room all the way to the kitchen.

I was concerned that somebody broke into our home. As I opened my bedroom door towards the living room I suddenly heard, ” I am up, it is me!” The kitchen is located off to the side connecting to the living room. There she was, standing against the counter with a small pot in her hand as she says, ” I want to make some coffee.” Ma usually did her coffee the old school way processing the coffee grains through a strainer, then heating the milk in a small pot similar to the one she was holding.

I was concerned that she could hurt herself in making the coffee, so I said, ” I will make you coffee, Ma. Don’t worry! ” I proceeded to make the coffee all the while thinking how clear she was and talking. What a blessing to be able to have a conversation with my beautiful mother-in-law. When I told her that it was 12:50 am, she became apologetic. I reassured her not to worry, the night is young. I joined her for a bit, serving her coffee, crackers, and butter and made myself a cup as well.

That is a memory that I will always carry in my mind and in my heart. I know that this disease is devastating, crippling to both the person inflicted with it as well as the caregiver that witnesses it but if we can focus on those moments of lucidity, then perhaps we can make it through. Food for thought.


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My Holiday Letter 2016


The year 2016 brought forth many challenges, and the lessons learned were pretty difficult, but we came through it, a stronger and a more united family. I want to share a few highlights of our year.

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Our nephew, David died at age 34 in his sleep, a person with diabetes and was not on any medication. He was a kind soul, left behind three children and worked hard to get his life back on the right track just before he died. It is never easy losing someone so young.

The Pulse Tragedy

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I watched the news in horror seeing victims carried out of the Pulse Night Club. An armed gunman entered the club opened fire with an assault weapon. My mind began to recall that our son JP frequented that club. Chills came over me thinking that JP was in that club, so I quickly started to text him, “ JP I need to hear from you as soon as you get my text.” Thank God, he responded, and that is when he told me about the death of his friends. He said that earlier that evening his friends spent time with him on a visit before going to the Pulse Night Club; they invited him along, but JP had a commitment with another friend going out for a birthday celebration. He later told me that he almost canceled with his friend to go with Drew and Juan. I was emotionally distraught thinking about all the lives lost in the name of hate and the realization of how close I came to losing my son. It was difficult for us and for many attending the funerals and the vigils; it was heart wrenching.

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Baby News

fb_img_1480284147011I became a Grand Aunt of two beautiful baby boys; Asa Caden of my niece Kisha, dad Glen and Michael Frangel of my niece Amanda, dad Frangel Anthony born within days

of each other. Wishing you all many blessings in the years to come.

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Growing Pains

Jayda, my beautiful granddaughter, turned 14. Where did the time go? It was just the other day I witnessed you being born. She is becoming quite a young lady, and we are so proud of her.

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The Election

The Presidential Election cycle was down and dirty. John’s fellow opponents used every dirty, disgusting trick in the book to discredit and malign him to no avail. As his wife, I was determined to stand firm against the evil doers, and if they are reading this? Beware!  God does not like ugly! He won the election, sworn in and is to begin his second term as a Florida State House of Representative for District 43 in Osceola County!

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Thanksgiving Eve Crisis

The day before Thanksgiving as I was about to cross the street I stepped down on the curb, OH MY GOD! Suddenly I hear a popping noise behind my right knee with tears welling up in my eyes as the pain was unbearable. My co-worker had to help me to my car; I thank God she was with me. I kept thinking, how am I going to drive home in this condition? By the grace of God, I was able to drive home by using my driving foot alternate with my non-driving foot. I was definitely in survival mode. My doctor informed me the injury might be a torn meniscus, an MRI scan completed and the results are pending. Wishing for a positive outcome.

Marriage News

Josh and Mary tie the knot. Wishing them many blessings as they embark on their marital journey. Always remember to love, laugh and talk it through no matter how difficult the situation.

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Life Lessons

My takeaways of the season are not to take those around you for granted, honor family, stay connected and show love, compassion, and caring whenever possible.

From our family to yours Happy Holidays!

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